Superman Returns
Reviewed by David on July 10, 2006
Lex Luther, criminal mastermind and model train enthusiast, was given five years to develop a nefarious plan for world domination in Superman's absence. Apparently, the best he could come up with was a real estate scheme to soak Metropolisians on beach front property deals. This plan is so incredibly lame it could have been concocted by Dr. Evil. Reduced to dropping a series of Instant Grow crystals into the ocean and enjoying his view from Kryptonite Island, Lex is occupied for the bulk of the film. Although Kevin Spacey plays Luther admirably, there is scarcely any evil-doer material to work with.
With no serious villains to defeat, director Bryan Singer has to keep Superman, and the audience, busy for a self-indulgent two and a half hours. The entire film is designed to distract from a plot that went missing along with Superman. Well, the deficient story is only a problem if you're not satisfied watching the enormous Daily Planet globe falling off the building for the hundredth time. How many more times are the Planet employees going to put that damn thing back up there?
The distraction is only really effective when it involves high stakes mid-air theatrics involving not only a 747, but a space ship. Unfortunately, a majority of the film revolves around the always dull non-relationship between Lois Lane and Superman. This time complicated by Lois' fiance and small child, neither tension nor entertainment ever really develop. If only the Earth's yellow sun could infuse The Man of Steel with some emotion as well as his super strength, we might actually care about his meek attempts for Lois' affection.
Basking in the high-tech glow of Superman's abilities is expected to compensate for nonsensical situations and a feeble rivalry with his arch-nemesis. We can only hope Luther spends the next few years doing something more than modeling the Great Northwest train system and attending real estate seminars.
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